QUALIFICATIONS—DOMESTIC RELATIONS

The "home and church are both God-ordained institutions. Before a man can scripturally serve as an elder over the larger of these two, the church, he must first have demonstrated his ruling ability over the smaller. (1 Tim. 3:5). This requires a long amount of time and much patience. The home not only shows his ruling ability but also his endurance in ruling well. The qualifications for a man’s family often are the only ones considered by many. We need to realize that these are no more important than the other qualifications." Arthur W. Adams

An elder must be a man, 1 Tim. 3:1,2,5; Titus 1:6. Because of the women’s liberation movement, it is necessary to point this out. "Man here is specific: it rules out boys, rules out all women. There is no room in the church for "she elders." Wives of elders are not to rule the church through their husbands. A man whose wife is out of subjection in this area other has failed to this extent to rule his own house well. (1 Tim. 3:5)" Arthur W. Adams

An elder must be "the husband of one wife." A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;" (1 Tim. 3:2). "If a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination." Titus 1:6.

This means that he cannot have less than one and not more than one wife. This eliminates bachelor elders for bachelors are neither husbands nor do they have wives. Without a wife or family, a bachelor has not demonstrated his ruling ability (1 Tim. 3:5), which is the key to this entire group of qualifications.

What if he has been married twice? If his second marriage is unscriptural, Mt. 19:9, then he is not qualified to be an elder. However, if his first wife is dead, then according to Rom. 7:2-3 he can scripturally remarry and still be the husband of one wife. Thus, he would still meet this qualification. If he scripturally divorced his first wife because of her unfaithfulness, he would still be the husband of one wife. However, he has failed in his first home, thus I would have serious doubts about the wisdom of appointing him as an elder.

An elder must have "faithful children." "One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?);" 1 Tim. 3:4-5. "If a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination." Titus 1:6.

We need to keep the purpose of this qualification in mind as we study this subject. The same qualities are needed for the proper of a family that is needed for the training of a congregation. His management or conduct of his family is the evidence of his ability to rule the church. If a man cannot manage his own children whom he has reared, and whom he always has had under his care, how can he manage the church?

According to 1 Tim. 3:2, 4-5, the bishop must have children.

There is much controversy over the question of how many children a man must have in order to meet this qualification. Some believe that if a man has one or more children, he does meet this qualification while others believe that he must have at least two children in order to meet this qualification. The following reasons are some of the reasons why some believe that if a man only has one child, he still meets this qualification:

The Bible sometimes uses the plural for the singular: "And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot had dwelt (cities yet Lot only lived in one city). Gen. 19:29. "She also said, ‘Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? For I have borne him a son in his old age.’" (nurse children yet Sarah only nursed one child). "His sons and his sons’ sons, his daughters and his sons’ daughters, and all of his descendants he brought with him to Egypt." (daughters yet Jacob only had one daughter) Gen. 46:7. "Thus says the LORD: ‘Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’" (paths yet there is only one path) Jeremiah 6:16. "Saying: ‘Teacher, Moses said that if a man dies, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife and raise up offspring for his brother shall marry his wife and raise up offspring for his brother.’" (What if a man died with having only one child? Compare Deut. 25:5) Mt. 22:24. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right….And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (Yet if only one child, could these be ignored?) Eph. 6:1, 4. See also 1 Tim. 5:4, 9-10, 14. However, some answer by saying that there is a rule of grammar that states that words like children always mean more than one unless there is something in the context that shows that it could include one or more. And there is nothing in the context in 1 Tim. and Titus that indicates that it would include one or more.

A man can show his ability to rule with one child. Sometimes raising one child can be harder than two or more. A man who has more than one child have to deal with two different personalities; but the same can be said about a man with ten kids.

The emphasis is on the ability to manage his house, not his ability to sire offspring.

My preference is that a man will have at lease two kids, this is definitely the safe way to go. However, I cannot be dogmatic and say that he has to have at least two, at least as of this point in time.

The children are to be in subjection. Subjection (hupotage - upotagh) is defined as:

Kubo – subjection, submission.

Green – subordination, submissiveness.

Thayer – 1. The act of subjecting. 2. Obedience, subjection.

The elder is to have faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

"Riot" (asotia aswtia - a noun) is defined as:

Kubo – debauchery, dissipation, profligacy.

Vine – prodigality, a wastefulness, profligacy, prodigality.

Thayer – an abandoned, dissolute, life; profligacy, prodigality.

Zodhiates – extravagant squandering.

The adverb is found in Luke 15 to describe the life of the prodigal son.

"Unruly" (anupotaktos anupotaktos) is defined as:

Kubo – undisciplined, disobedient, rebellious.

Thayer – that cannot be subjected to control, disobedient.

Vine – not subject to rule.

Zodhiates – not subject; disobedient to authority, disorderly, insubordinate.

"Faithful" can be taken one of two ways. 1. Some say that the children are to be faithful to their parents. In view of "riot" and "unruly," I can see where this could be possible. 2. Most understand this to mean that they must be faithful Christians.

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